I have found myself on hold with BofA quite frequently in the last 3 weeks. Twice my hold has been under 10 minutes which has left me staring at the phone in awe but MOST TIMES, it's well over 30 minutes. So, just for fun, here's some things to do while on hold with everyone's friend, BofA.
- Snooze.
- Eat your lunch.
- Take a poll around the office of how long i might be on hold this time. Hand out prizes.
- Chair dance to the lively "hold" music.
- Talk back to the gal that say's "Please stay on the line, we'll return to assist you momentarily"
- Check your spam folder & delete as necessary.
- Have someone in the office stand by your phone while you run down the hall to the ladies room.
- Count your commission if the short sale get's approved.
- Head over to twitter to see what your friends are talking about.
- Complain about BofA to anyone who will listen in your office, on twitter & facebook.
- vow to never take another short sale.
- Count the wrinkles BofA has given you so far.
- Eat girl scout cookies.
- Wonder aloud if they will answer their phone prior to your next appointment?
- Memorize the loan # of the short sale you are working on.
- Record the answers to all the redundant questions they ask you when they FINALLY answer.
- Consider getting a "hands free" headset to alleviate your aching ears.
- Write a blog post to commemorate your hold time.
- Take your blood pressure meds so you don't have a heart attack.
- Breathe in & breathe out. REPEAT.
Photo courtesy of: Flickr.com
OF COURSE this post was created FOR FUN & the actual events above may or may not have occurred (repeatedly).
Kristin Moran
Specializing in San Antonio & surrounding cities
-------------------------------
RE/MAX Access - Realtor®/Owner
KristinMoran@Remax.net 210.313.7397 www.SistersThatSell.com
Buy a home from me, use the truck to move for free!
21. Create a dart board with the Bank of America symbol in the bulls eye
Kristin...
Here's mine: Grab your five shooter, go hang out at the gun range, when Bank of As-Holes finally picks up your call fire off all five rounds. Very effective for getting their attention next time. Or not :)
I hope my comment has set a funny tone here. Tear it up and Rip into it People :)
TLW...ROAR!
22. Play a online computer game-LOL. Now I know what to do whenever I encounter this problem. Thanks for sharing. Great post.
Yes... we've heard they have quite the reputation for poor customer service.
Definitely get the headset, you will need it even more in the future. They are growing in size and will continue to offer bad service.
23. Figure out how to ship a package SH*% to your favorite representative of BofA as a Thank You for them promptly taking your call AND handling your problem! (not)
Okay, If my Mother ever reads this, I'm in trouble. But, being honest.
Cute post! Thanks for the laugh!
Well its nice to see that BOA's rep is still going strong. They really don't care. Thanks for the additional "to do's".
24. Change your accounts from BofA to some other banking institution!. Great post Kristin. I am assuming you did this while on hold?
Memorize the words or scores to the music you are listening to.
A little exercising while listening to the music.
Fill out another listing contract - keeps the spirits up
Touch up hair and makeup for listing appointment
Must admit, they do have decent music. Customer service is slow but generally humerous when the counters are out in left field.
You know...BOA is all up in arms because they seem to be getting a so called "bad rap"...Well I am here to tell you that they are getting worse every day. I ike the fact that you've retained your sens eof humor!
C'mon Guys...
You can do better than this. So, far I'm winning. Don't let me win. And don't make me go get Paul and Andrew over here. They'll tear this puppy apart :)
TLW...ROAR!
LOL love this..maybe the next ones should be read posts on Active Rain! LOL
Good post Kristin. I hate to say that this is funny because it really is very, very sad.
I love it and can relate! And #15 is so true. It doesn't take much effort on your part though. Since they ask you 15 times for the loan number EVERY time you call AND every time you are transferred on that call, the number sort of gets ingrained in your subconscious. Thanks for sharing!
Hmmm so far the gun range seems like the most idea. Turn up the volume on Farmville, since you have to wait for the cows to come before they answer!
Take photos of various parts of your body, leaving out those that show the most personal parts of your anatomy. Print them off and randomly distribute them amongst the 2,396 pages you will need to fax to them for the 7th time. Be sure to include a final page informing them that they will get the missing pics when the deal closes.
After closing, forward them the photo of your ass. Be sure to include instructions on how they must process this photo: Hold in both hands, bend over, kiss repeatedly.
Kristin - ROTFLMAO! OMG! I'm still laughing as I type this. I also love everyone's ideas too. This is so funny. Think I'm going to park here for right now to see how this thread transpires througout the day.
OH, I do #7 and #10 ALL THE TIME!!!!!
I guess we can look at the bright side....if it weren't for hold time.....I wouldn't have time for FaceBook! : )
I firmly believe that you did all of those things, because I know I would have.
These are great, but I find myself doing number 20 and a daily basis with them!!
I am on hold with them now! So when I saw your post...I had to leave a comment...I hope they get better...Thanks for the list:)
These are funny. Been there done that....perpetual HOLD at BOA. My last resort is games on Facebook. It's great to go play Mafia Wars or Texas Holdem...while listening to the same phone message OVER, and OVER, and OVER again. Thanks for the funny today!
Hello, Sister:
It's good to see that you can have a sense of humor about this. I am sure it's much healthier that way.
The hold times make me crazy too. I can add one to your list: Draw little "hangman" like doodles and make sure the bankers are the ones in the fantasy noose.
I'd like to post a defense of Bank of America. After all, ...., uhm I mean you know, ....if you had, uh, .......just a minute... I just can't there is no defense. If they are complaining about getting a bad rap, they need to call into their own system, wait on hold and find someone who cares.
How about a new game, you know you've been on hold with BoA too long when...
you find yourself hearing that music in you sleep.
Hi Kristen,
Yes, I've been there too...especially number 11. LOL
Steve
OMG Kristin...this is too funny!!! Very well done! ;-)
Kristin,
Very funny post. God bless you. I am now convinced that short sales are not for me. I am out of patience. Although, maybe I would walk my dog while on hold, that would make her happy.
All the best, Michelle
Thanks for the entertaining post!
I love your list! When on hold with B of A I am always able to answer emails, tweet, blog and find out what all of my FaceBook friends have been up to! I try really hard to avoid those darn Girl Scout Cookies at all costs!!
I line up several lines in the office and put them on hold ...but I leave a couple open
Kristin: I am going to let you in on a little secret: call on Friday afternoons. Although if you do call on Fridays, when will you get all that other stuff done?
Good tips. You don't want to all worked up and stressed while waiting for someone who you really need to get the transaction done.
A hearty thank you to being on hold with BOA yesterday...yes thank you. Cleaned out my briefcase and FINALLY found out where that really BAD odor was coming from in my car. (small enclosed space) Eating on the run...as we all do...the odor has been successfully mitigated...a 2 week old egg roll. Thank you for the lengthy wait times BOA, you have made my world a much more fragrant one.
#21. Set phone down, go get hammer, hit self
I worked with Bank of America for 13 years as a banking center manager and I am so glad I am out of there!!!!! Great post.....
#13 has been a common occurrence lately. I'm on my last sleeve of Thin Mints. Bummer.
Great list - love your humor.
I would wait hours if it meant a decision. Instead I wait and wait and wait so that they can tell me that my file has not been touched yet.
I can't top TLW, and I can't put what I do during these calls if I am angry because it involves voodoo dolls and a darker side I would rather not reveal anywhere. LOL
I think we need very uplifting fills if we are to make it through these short sales.
I hate the feeling that I am wasting my time.
What's one of the things you can do while your on hold at Bank of America? Write a blog on Active rain!
When I get the message about this call may be recorded, I wonder if at some point I will get a call back to complement me on my yodeling.
Just stopped back by to see if you were still on hold ;-D
You guys are hilarious! I am almost out of girl scout cookies as well so I will now resort to making sure I have made some popcorn prior to my call just in case I get hungry while WAITING. It's kind of like when you go on long trips & you need a snack. Just in case!
Today's call was 37 minutes & then the gal told me they are having "technical difficulties" & I needed to call back "in about an hour". Wow, i'm sorry but I think I mustered up all the patience I can stand for today, that call might have to wait until tomorrow now. : /
@Russell - gave up for today but thanks for your concern!!!!!!!
according to Melissa above & her helpful hint I shouldn't call back prior to FRIDAY! That's when folks are out playing & not trying to get in touch with BofA, eh? I'll try it!
And there's Facebook. Then there's making a mental note to smile when someone finally comes on the line so you sound nice and they might actually help you. How about DASH TO THE RESTROOM and hope you get back in time. Good post.
I really do not like B of A they are the worst
I love BofA. They have the best hold music ever!!! OK so I'm a liar.
YOu sure make the time worthwhile in a tough situation lol
I love #10! Great post!
Boy it seems like it's getting worse isn't it?
I just started a deal with B of A short-sale! Oh no...
Plan on yelling out the window, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
Great Post, but why are you on hold? You should be out there getting these listings!
I am assuming they at least are speaking English when they do answer?!
HAAAAAAAAAA! Good one, Kristin! I'm wondering if it's time for an official AR Bank of America anthem. Whaddya think? I'm not good at song writing, though....somebody help me out here.
Bank of America
Bank of America
Dogs shed their fleas on thee......
@Lisa - ABSOLUTELY! When they answer I almost give them a cavity with my sweetness, I want them to help me!! I try to make them laugh & have a little conversation. That goes along way sometimes! Great idea!
Kristin - this scares me as I will be doing these calls very soon to BofA ugh...... But maybe just maybe I'll do some of these things whilst I wait...
Kristin: Great post! Funny too! You obviously hit a nerve with all your realtor friends. I don't envy the job you guys do. All the more reason not to discount your services these days! Take care.
Hilarious!! And it certainly helps to laugh instead of cry or bang our heads against our office walls, huh?
Hilarious!! And it certainly helps to laugh instead of cry or bang our heads against our office walls, huh?
LOL, this is a great blog.. congrats on the feature.
21. Send random emails to each of the BofA managers, supervisors, customer service reps, and other corporate types whose email addresses you've been collecting since the beginning of the housing slump describing how the same poor customer service that caused you to stop using them as a lender is about to cause you to stop accepting short sale listings when the lienholder is BofA and to start steering your clients away from making offers on BofA REO properties...not that they care.
I like "Vow never to do another short sale with BoA."
What if they are actually listening to you on the other end even though that music is playing?
#21. LMAO reading the latest BofA PR move . . . not charging OVERDRAFT fees on DEBIT cards! Hmmm. . . a little TOO late on that one. WHY charge them in the first place? If there's $2.50 in my account, and I buy a double-Vente, espresso no-foam, low fat soy milk coffee bevereage for $3.50 -- DO NOT AUTHORIZE the debit -- DECLINE it . . . but don't charge $35.00 in OVERDRAFT fees because YOU released $3.50 to Starbvcks ('cause I don't want to get sued) when I didn't have the funds?!?!? Just how many gazillions did you make on that bank fee?!?!?
#22. Look up other ACTIVE listings on the MLS for my clients to tour . . .
I'm pretty boring and just go about my business. I take my appointments at my desk. By the time I finish, I'm still on hold.
Evening Kristen, How could I not read your post with that title ? Love the plug for Girl Scout cookies !
Keith,
If they were actually listening on the other end, that would make 3, 5, 7, 10, 12, 14, and 16 all the more effective, wouldn't it. LOL
Ha....I love the comment that Ralph left above. Good one!
Patricia/Seacoast NH
Dont laugh but when I am on hold or on a conference call I lift weights!
What a hoot. There's time to do more than one of these. So what is your LONGEST hold?
You could count the number of times you get a proxy error on AR!
This is an all time classic post, gotta laugh about some of these things or they make you insane! Thanks for the laughs.
Great blog Kristin... loved it
Kristin, whatever you do, DO NOT sign on to Facebook to play BeJeweled Blitz. It is more addictive than Active Rain.
Hi K...
We put an offer in on a BOA short-sale last August. Last week we got a COUNTER-offer. I don't know hwy it takes 8 months to counter an offer but there you have it!
Bank of america has gone from a well respected bank to complete laughing stock in less than 2 or so years !!! I can't believe I have stock in them !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tiffany you may be on to something! We could build an email list between us all and overpower them with a bazillion emails. When they track us down all we would have to say is do you have the loan # please! I'm sorry I can not talk to you about this matter unless you have the loan number and the last 4 digits of the ss associated with the account. I'm sorry do you have the loan #. And what is..........okay I guess everyone here gets that!
How's that TLW?
Sorry BoA is so difficult... It will be worth it in the end - $$$$$ ;o)
If calling for a short sale, you can get a hold of the president easier than connecting with them. Great post, congrats on the feature.
How about file your nails and use the white out to make a french manicure? I understand that once they have you in their system you are "in"!
How about file your nails and use the white out to make a french manicure? I understand that once they have you in their system you are "in"!
How about file your nails and use the white out to make a french manicure? I understand that once they have you in their system you are "in"!
Hi Kristin - I'm thinking if you made a video montage of your hold time activities it would go viral with well over 100,000 views. Of course all of that publicity might get you a few more short sale listings ... so it could be a double-edged sword!
I'd dust, but only after I got everything else on the list done. Ya know, as a last measure :)
21. Go out to your car, slam your hand in the car door (it's less painful than listening to BofA hold music), go to emergency room to have broken hand set in a cast and then come back to your office. It's OK, you'll still be on hold waiting to speak to someone.
Kristin,
Based on what I've heard you could write five lengthy, point-generating and inspiring blogs easy while waiting for anything to happen with BofA.
Hi Kristin, here are 5 more items to add to your list:
1, cancel your BofA accounts
2, open new bank accounts with a community bank or credit union that treats you like a human being
3, sell your BofA stock
4, inform your buyer and listing clients that you don't consider BofA mortgage pre-approvals worth the paper they are written on
5, delete your BofA contacts from your data base.
and of course this is all just in fun not for real!
Very Funny and well said... except number 8 ...never count your commision until it records LOL :)
Refreshing...got to keep on laughing ! thanks
Tweet Timmy Geithner and ask how much "bigger" BofA must get to be too big to fail?....
Great post~
So very funny! Try this. Find out which location you are calling (time zone) and start your calls 5 minutes before they start work. This will ensure that by the time you get through the automated system, it will be about the time they flip the switch and take calls.
Hi Kristin -- I think if I looked up the word multi-tasking in the dictionary, I'd see your photo! :)
I haven't had to deal with BofA yet... but after reading all the AR blogs.... I'M SCARED :)
I wonder if I spent more time on hold if it would make a difference. I make one BofA short sale seller make the calls and do the emails. Our negotiator is MUCH more responsive to him than she is to me. They even exchange recipes. So now I write the script for the call or I draft the email.
This is great! I have done at least half of these... Mostly I check e-mail and even sometimes read AR blogs... Thanks for the chuckles!
You lost me at Bank of America. LOL. They are just terrible in every way. Their customer service sucks. They suck with short sales. They have insane restrictions about opening accounts. Horrible.
21. Create an "I'm on hold with BofA" Group on Facebook - and invite comments - swearing is allowed....
22. Take your dogs for a walk with the phone on "speaker."
I did #22 while on hold with my father's insurance company - trying to OK standard chemo. I walked about 2.5 miles before they finally answered. It's probably pretty similar to how the banks are behaving. Customer service - are you kidding me?
Hi Kristin ~ Love the list. Love the photo of the pooch too. Absolutely georgeous!
Denise
Too big to fail allows BofA to have you hold whatever they want.
Great list.... I like Ralphs idea of the BOA dart board too :)
Real Estate Professionals will benefit greatly by building their business in 2010… I appreciate this post. Thanks
Real Estate Professionals will benefit greatly by building their business in 2010… I appreciate this post. Thanks
Hello Kristin - I can't stand being on hold. You have a great attitude though. Have a great day!
Kristin: My absolute favorite is # 13... eat Girl Scout Cookies. My fave is that one with chocolate stripey icing and coconut on it... cannot remember the name... but ... YUM !
I just checked. Those cookies are called Samoas. If you know any girl scouts... I'd like to order a half-dozen boxes, puhleeze.
Funny post Kristin. Bank of America just opened up a loan office in our RE/MAX building, hope things go okay with them.
Great post Kristin. I, too was on hold today with Bank of America for 47 minutes. I wish I would've read your post sooner.
Or you can always write a blog on active Rain about being on hold..While you are on Hold:) Perhaps they might read your blog before the finally pck up the phone:):):) Great Post
I love my blue tooth ear peice for that reason. I can drive across the state if I want to while on hold. Life is good!
While on hold with BoA I put on my bluetooth ear piece and go out on my back porch and watch the grass grow, actually mowed it once while on hold.
I woke up to my blackberry blowing up with more comments! Thanks guys for all your ideas, I love em! I think John's video montage is a spectacular idea! I wonder if anything would change if BofA saw THAT video!
Refer to my previous comment regarding BoA and rehearse how many different ways you can tell them to SUCK IT. Suck what they may ask. Anything and everything is appropriate.
Kristin, that was funny (but true)! You made my day reading your lists! Its great to start the day with some humor and a smile!
Very Funny, Is anyoe from Bank of America listening? It seems not a day goes by without hearing something about Bank of Anerica!
#21 - hire a hacker to change the #@$%&* background music.
I've taken a shower before...just kept the phone on (with the speaker function) and figured they would wait if they answered mid-shampoo. Never happened!
Love it! I balance my checkbook.
Bank of America already conducts their business like the Federal government. No wonder that we're all relating so well to your list...Cherise
This is why I love AR -- such useful information! I've had to call them recently on my own home loan to get tax docs, and I had to wait just as long. They REALLY care about their customers!!
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Send a boat anchor to your nearest Bank of America Loan officer with the following attached message, "Saw your ship was sinking fast, thought this would help you acheive your company goals faster." You probably could get a Chase or Wells Fargo loan officer pay for the shipping cost.
Kristin - While on the phone, I email each negotiator in question and take notes in my database on each call, then email my team if we need to re-fax the "lost" document. Plus pay my office bills. All at the same time :)
Kristin~ What a great post and quite funny. I loved Kim Brown's (#18). Good luck with BofA
I fixed dinner the other day while on hold with this very frustrating bank.
...Have a seat in your auxiliary "office."
...NY Times Crossword Puzzle
....Write your will
...Close your account with BOA online and get a new bank.
I usually spend time catching up with friends on Facebook!
I just told a friend at BoA about this blog after it took OVER A WEEK to get a fully signed contract receipted. He asked for a copy. I took pride in telling him it came up 1st on google! GO KRISTIN GO!!!!!
I don't think that these things should be what is taking up our time!